Days 1-3

These last few days have been some of the most breathtaking, exhausting, and overwhelming days that I’ve experienced in my life so far. Everything here is beautiful. The light here is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, and illuminates everything in sight. Even under the heaviest rain clouds like we had at Versailles on our second day, there is still this unbelievable luminosity that emanates from every corner in France.  I have found myself in disbelief that there could be this kind of beauty and I had been unable to access it for this long.

            The first day was so exciting and exhausting at the same time. I was absolutely awestruck at the amount of history that is visually present from the second you step off of the metro, and up onto the streets of Paris. The experience of flying, and taking the metro was so extremely foreign to me but definitely necessary and rewarding.  Navigating foreign countries, which speak a completely different language than you are accustomed to be extremely humbling. I realized that a lot of Americans, including myself expect other people to speak our language, but hardly do we ever expect the same out of ourselves. It made me realize that the world is a lot bigger than Milwaukee/Wisconsin/The United States. It’s so easy to forget that there is a whole other world out there with a history much, much older than the United States.  It’s so easy to become comfortable in your city and accustomed to your schedules but there is something so important about feeling uncomfortable in a city and a culture you aren’t familiar with. Being faced with a language that you know very little of is extremely overwhelming. Hearing everyone around you speak this beautiful language is intoxicating and extremely dizzying at the same time.  I was completely overwhelmed from all the change that we experienced on the first day… visually, mentally, and physically. Jet lag played a huge part in all of that I’m sure—but even though I just wanted to sleep, staying mobile and walking around the city was what I needed. I got the most out of the boat tour that we did toward the end of the day. After reading the Seven Ages of Paris book, as well as the readings that were assigned for our groups, a lot of the information that was given became blurred and it was hard to visualize the city and connect monumental parts of the city. Already being completely overwhelmed from traveling, a new city, and a new culture, the highlight of my day was definitely the boat cruise. I was able to pick apart and enjoy
Paris-see the monuments from afar, get a refresher on the city's history, and unwind.

 Being able to sit back, and learn about Paris through a different perspective was extremely rewarding. I am such a visual learner that I needed that downtime, especially on the first day to soak it all in and enjoy it through a different lens. While there was very little down time from the plane, to the different activities we had, the first day was extremely tiring but rewarding.

            The second day, it all started to sink in that I was actually in Paris.  This day was extremely emotionally draining for a number of reasons. We headed to Notre Dame, and I was absolutely in disbelief at the size of it.

After seeing it so many times in class, being right in front of it was unreal. The architecture on, and inside of it is absolutely breathtaking. I honestly had very little interest in going to see it before because I had heard so much about it-I was partially afraid that it wasn’t going to live up to the hype that all of my Art History classes had given it, and partially not as interested because I couldn’t really understand it. Architecture is so foreign to me and so hard to understand that it becomes really difficult for me to access anything so complex like that. But, when we got there, and I actually saw Notre Dame up close and stood underneath it, it was a completely different story. Seeing the figures carved into the stone all throughout the building, hearing the stories that went along with each figure blows my mind. I honestly felt that Notre Dame changed my perspective on architecture. Particularly within the stained glass window that made up the middle portion of the façade. I felt that the shape was extremely intriguing from afar, but the designs within the design were what really amazed me. The extreme attention to detail within every inch of the circle, despite its height goes to show that this is not just a building-it is a work of art. There are stories within each piece of that circle. The inside of the building to me, was the to me though, the best part. As soon as you enter you are absolutely engrossed within this beautiful architecture-domes and arches for days, seamlessly bleeding into each other. But, of course, the light is what really got me. I got really excited when the light changed from room to room-carrying emotion and a weight that for me wasn’t palpable beforehand. I never knew that stained glass could function like that. It was beautiful to have the light direct my emotions and my thought process rather than visuals, which I had been so over-stimulated by from the first day as well as just looking at the outer façade.

            After Notre Dame, we were given an opportunity to go and see the European Museum of Photography along with a memorial that I knew little about (Ice cream was also an incentive) instead of waiting in line to go to the top of Notre Dame. I decided to go to the memorial and museum and the experience I had was extremely, extremely powerful. There is very few times where I am moved to tears by something visual—this memorial was the most powerful one to date. I never expected architecture to be so emotional, but this was the hardest thing for me to go through. I came in blind and walked right past the plaque describing what it actually was. Which, in retrospect, I’m glad I did. Because the second it hit me and I wrapped my head around the memorial it just got me. You enter the memorial by going down in a small group through a narrow, tall, heavy, white stone staircase. You then enter into a circular space with walls that are at least 20 feet high full of this heavy, deafening stone that engulfs you. You are given two choices on where to look. You are allowed reprieve from the enclosed space in 2 forms-through a triangle, black Iron Gate that was placed over a small patch of water from the Seine, or into a room. The room only had one way to enter it, and only allowed one person to enter it at a time. These giant, rectangular concrete pillars engulf you and you enter into a pentagonal space, with words written in red in French on the ceiling and around it. Directly in front of you when you enter, was a room filled with small light bulbs on each wall that went 10 plus feet back. I turned, and remember seeing the word holocaust and realizing what I just had taken a part of, and what this was. The second I realized it was a memorial for those affected by the Holocaust it hit me-I had just experienced enclosure, entrapment, confinement just like those killed and affected by the Holocaust were. It was absolutely horrifying. I have heard absolutely horrifying, gut-wrenching stories from our extremely close family friend (to the point where I call her my Grandma) about when she was put into a concentration camp in Germany, but feeling just a sliver of what she felt, knowing that this was her reality for so many months was horrifying. I have never, and never think I will experience a piece of architecture and design that affects me so emotionally. It is a piece of art-it conveys the feelings associated with the Holocaust through architecture, design and materials.  I am still speechless as to how it is possible to convey those un-relatable, unthinkable emotions through art. That was a huge turning point for me.

            When we went to the European Museum of Photography, I was really, really excited about what I might see. I came across a show in the basement of the building by Phillipe Favier, called Noir that absolutely blew me away.

His use of material, the re-use of old photographs, and the ingenious idea of playing with your perception through framing and design blew me out of the water. He re-contextualized the idea of the frame by placing these photographs within non-traditional forms like shadow boxes, a typewriter, and even integrated sculpture with photography. This work was extremely inspiring to me and I found that I was easily excited about because it was so outside of the norm. I have always been attracted to the integration of mixed media within photography, but never have attempted to do it. The work felt personal and family related—by obscuring identities and morphing them into a new form, the work transcends the personal and becomes public.

            The third day, when we went to Versailles, I had a moment of inspiration almost immediately once we entered the gardens. While I found the entire grounds absolutely breathtaking, as soon as I stepped out by steps overlooking the long rectangular pond that stretched out towards the grounds, I had a moment where I was speechless that something like this existed.

 I have had such a difficult time connecting with the culture here because I feel so foreign and out of place—something that is less familiar to me back at home. While there is something important to feeling this way, it has allowed me to look for connections in different manners than I usually would. I was drawn to one woman in particular who was by her, and stood in amazement for about ten minutes in the same spot, overlooking the gardens. Seeing this older woman, independent, and completely awe-struck made me realize that these moments of being amazed, speechless and completely infatuated with the culture here are interchangeable.

There was something about the way that she was standing, that was so eloquent and quiet that summed up everything I’ve been feeling so far. I realized that that perspective, of overlooking the gardens, and the realization that the world is so much bigger than you thought was something I’ve been internalizing… the fact that she was by herself also played into it I’m sure. There is something extremely unsettling but necessary to being pretty independent while traveling to a different country and this woman embodied every emotion that I’ve been feeling. As soon as I started seeing that it was interchangeable within that spot, I stood there photographing reactions…. I’m not articulating what I felt there perfectly, but that experience was unlike any other I’ve had so far. Here is a page from my sketchbook from that day, dissecting the view of the gardens.

When we went to the Lourve, I was on complete overload. The museum was absolutely beautiful, and I could not believe the size of the museum, and then the amount of work within it. When we were on our boat cruise the first day, there was a fact thrown around that said if you spent 3 seconds in front of every piece of artwork within the museum, that it would take you 3 months to get through everything. I had no idea that the museum was this large, and so confusing. I was really taken aback by the number of tour groups, but particularly how little time people spent with the work. The purpose of going to the museum and seeing these beautiful  When we split up to find two pieces to compare and contrast, (more later) I spent the remainder of the 3 or so hours upstairs on the 2nd floor-and I don't think I even got through half of the work up there! I chose to focus in on The Valpincon Bather by Jean Auguste-Dominique, as well as "Study of a Half Naked Woman" by Jacob Van Loo. I found that it was interesting how the gaze within each painting of a nude woman changed the perception and objectification of the woman being portrayed within the portraits. Van Loo's painting, was filled with dark colors, sickly cold skin, and a gaze averted to the corner of the painting that allows the viewer to understand that she's aware and uncomfortable. Within Dominique's painting, he portrays a woman in a completely different manner-soft, delicate, romantic light, yet he is still intruding within this woman's everyday life. I found it interesting as well, that how the curator decided to present the works, spoke to the artists intentions as well. Within Van Loo's painting, the artist is putting her on display; making the viewer feel uncomfortable for looking at her. She is essentially an object. In Dominique's painting, the woman is portrayed more as an inspiration in my opinion, because of the soft light it was painted in. While both artists are intruding into these woman's lives and objectifying them to a certain manner, the thing that really consumed me the most was the gaze/lack of gaze. 

 I saw a quote right before I left that I feel fits this whole experience so far, and even sums up the experience I had at Versailles that I feel will carry me throughout the rest of the trip:

“Travel is about the gorgeous feeling of teetering in the unknown.”

I’m learning to become comfortable with being uncomfortable here, and accepting the fact that there is no possible way to take in everything within this one trip… acknowledging and accepting that will only allow me to take in everything more genuinely.